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The Case of One who did the other that Did Not!

This Case Study Summary is of two men who were born on the same day and city. One, the son of an Industrialist and the other the son of an employee of the Industrialist. They met when they were in Kindergarten and immediately became inseparable friends & soul mates. Much to the displeasure of the Industrialist who saw that the activities they were into, had a real passion for and derived great joy & happiness, did not fit his plans of grooming his son to one day take over his empire. That by grade 3 he put  his son in a Private School to minimize as much as possible the "Bad Influences" & the "Useless Activities" he enjoyed so much with his friend. His son did graduate from a prestigious business school that had prepared him to take over the business one day. However he did so without much joy or sense of accomplishment. It was just a Mechanical thing to do to please his father! He always felt to be in the shadows of others and never the self esteem joy of feeling really good about himself like when he and his childhood friend did things that made them feel really special.

The employee of the Industrialist on the other hand, by accident or design, did not discourage but encouraged these activities that brought so much self esteem happiness to his son. His father was just happy to see his son happy at whatever he did! In University he did not take a rigid program that would lead to a specific career opportunity. He took courses for the pure pleasure of acquiring knowledge in things he found interesting. Upon graduating his father got him an entry level position were he worked and his childhood friend, that he had hardly seen since then,  was already a VP. Within months his immediate supervisors began to really value his contribution with promotions. The Aura of being very happy in who he was, without ego. The power to have people really listen, appreciate and happily follow what he had to say! The knack to make people feel important and work together to solve problems!

Within a few years the Industrialist realized that his son's childhood activities he stopped and the forced separation of his son from his childhood soul mate was a mistake. He promoted his son friend to VP with instruction to work very close with his son. Hoping to rekindle those activities they so joyously shared in childhood.

 

 

Insights of Dr. Deepak Chopra, David Simon & others on How & Why to unlock our mind/ body incredible self healing  powers and much more!

Over the past ten years, mind body medicine has been revolutionizing the way we think about our health. Millions of people are discovering that their thoughts, their feelings, and their physical well being are intimately connected- and this is transforming the way we eat, exercise, work, and even relate to one another.

Since the time of the ancient Greeks, Western medicine has looked at the body from a materialistic perspective, and approached every problem with a material-based solution such as drugs and surgery. 

But, through the insights of Dr. Deepak Chopra, David Simon, and other pioneers of mind body medicine, it’s become evident that if we want to change who we are, we need to simply move in new directions, open our experiences to new interpretations, and awaken our senses to the new perceptions that await us.

Most of us tend to assume that body and spirit are at opposite ends of the spectrum. But according to the discoveries of quantum physics, the body is actually a swirling mass of constantly changing energy. It has more in common with what we think of as “spirit” than what we think of as matter.

Dr. Chopra merges modern science with spirituality to demonstrate how verifiable scientific evidence closely supports ancient metaphysical traditions. And how applying this knowledge can impact all areas of your life. He believes that you can align the energy of your physical body with the energy of the universe, and that by doing this you tap into an infinite reservoir of intelligence. 

This intelligence is the “higher self.” The higher self is the “you” inside of you—the living force that grows and changes in your body throughout your time on earth. It is the “you” behind all of the defenses and images you have created for yourself…the you that really knows why you are here, what it is you need, and how you can get it.

By transcending to your personal core, the higher self, you discover your true nature—a blissful self of infinite worth.

PumpYourAura has discovered a Key to this State!

The spiritual needs we all have for love, compassion, meaningfulness, total acceptance, devotion and inner peace are not grand goals to be achieved in a distant time and place. They exist here and now and exert powerful influences on our lives. Only be transcending to the higher self can you achieve total, spontaneous fulfillment of these needs.

In The Higher Self, you can:
• eliminate fear and other obstacles to spiritual growth
• rejoin the stream of life through willingness and trust
• utilize more fully the true solver of problems—intuition
• untangle pain from suffering
• liberate your emotional body
• experience infinite worth
• learn to heal as a conscious activity
• establish a relationship with your personal and cosmic mind
• break the circular trap of addictions and find new pleasures that surpass them
• develop a quiet mind that can experience the truth of this new reality
•accessing the body’s unlimited natural pharmacy, the key to perfect health and total well-being

Are you an active and positive force—one who creates reality? You’ll come to realize that at the level of the higher self—you are a force with the power to renew your life at every moment.

By learning to balance the material, psychological and spiritual levels of your being, you’ll learn to experience the higher self. You’ll become a peaceful, unified, harmonious, whole person.

•Retard and even reverse the biological aging process
•Create a delicious, uncomplicated, balanced diet that will give you incredible energy and vitality
•Activate your body’s amazing, natural “inner pharmacy”
•Relax and heal yourself
•Produce desired states of being and improve health
•Dramatically reshape and revitalize your body

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Psychosynthesis and The Act of Will

Italian psychologist Dr. Roberto Assagioli left us two remarkable pieces of writing, Psychosynthesis and The Act of Will. In those books, Assagioli brought his remarkable intelligence to bear on the entire subject of human potential and human happiness. He studied the mind and personality for his entire lifetime, and he came up with several ideas that are profoundly simple and powerfully effective in helping you and me to lead happier, more satisfying lives. In The Act of Will, he laid out a series of psychological principles, or laws, that can be very helpful to you in understanding the way your mind works and how you can take control of it.

The third of Assagioli's laws is that images or pictures, either from within or from the outside, will trigger thoughts and feelings consistent with them. In turn, those thoughts and feelings will trigger behaviors that lead to the realization of the pictures. For example, when you become absolutely convinced that you are a total winner and you are meant to be a complete success in anything that you really want to do, every picture or image that you see that somehow represents winning to you will trigger thoughts of what you could do to achieve that same state. The picture will also trigger the feeling of excitement that will motivate you to take action.

Assagioli's fourth law is that thoughts, feelings and images trigger the words and actions consistent with them. This is another way of saying that your inner impressions will motivate you to pursue the outer activities that will move you toward the achievement of your goals.

Assagioli's fifth law is that your actions will trigger thoughts, emotions and images consistent with them. That has been referred to as the Law of Reversibility. It is one of the most important success principles ever discovered.

we help you climb out of the low self esteem shadows by uncovering & nurturing the unique "low value" Gift 99% are born with, but you, like most,  have not found or ignored nurturing it as worthless! 

Your One & Only Magic Key to Radiating the Aura of a Winner with great self esteem, happiness, health & success!

Training the Mind, Healing the Body offers a uniquely comprehensive approach to all aspects of the mind body connection,

· Integrate the healing traditions of the East with the latest practical discoveries of Western science
· Change the way you eat-or even when you eat-to create greater mental and physical energy
· Sleep well every night
· Identify what makes you uniquely different from anyone who has ever lived as well as what you share with all of humanity
· Exercise better, not harder
· Enter the silent spaces between your thoughts to create a rejuvenating sense of alertness
·Understand how the process of disease really works, and how you can break the progression that leads to illness
· Use your heart as well as your brain to make insightful choices and accurate life decisions
· Increase your personal efficiency by discovering the best times of day for mental and physical activities
·Discover the intimate connection between your physical body and your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Discover the Life-Giving Powers You Now Possess!
A Perfect Balance of Mind, Body and Spirit Is Your Birthright.

A Brief Interview with Deepak Chopra, M.D.


NIGHTINGALE-CONANT: Dr. Chopra, in simple terms, can you tell us how the mind-body connection works?
DR. CHOPRA: Your body is a 3-D projection of your current state of mind. Your slightest shift of mood is picked up by every cell, which means that you do not think with your brain alone – all 50 trillion cells in your body actively share your thoughts. At the level of the quantum mechanical body, you are a constantly flowing river of intelligence.

NIGHTINGALE-CONANT: How powerful is the mind-body connection?
DR. CHOPRA: Correctly channeled, it has enormous power – the power to make us sick or well, depressed or joyful, sluggish or dynamic. The mind-body connection is the gateway to unlimited creativity and happiness. Unfortunately, our society has not taught us how to use it.

NIGHTINGALE-CONANT: How can an individual make the mind-body connection work in his or her behalf?
DR. CHOPRA: First, you must tap into it. To tap it, you must realize that you are not bound by the limitations of your body or mind. Intelligence is inherent in everything. You are pure potential waiting to be activated. That is the real you. And until you break free of your imaginary boundaries, the product of years of false conditioning, you cannot be totally free.
Drawing on a unique combination of modern science and the wisdom of Ayurveda, India’s “ancient science of life,” I teach you how to achieve freedom beyond all boundaries. My goal is not to show you how to break down walls but how to fly over them.

We project our awareness into the universe like a lighthouse. Every thought you have is felt by everything in existence. Can we afford not to take full advantage of that fact?
To think that you occupy just a few cubic feet of space is pure illusion. I try to get people to break this illusion. Once you have the deepest insight – I am the universe – nature can deny you nothing!

Woman
Midlife should be celebrated as the most exciting, promising time in a woman’s life. The constraints and inexperience of youth are behind you. Your responsibilities have shifted away from others, and towards your own health and well-being. The years ahead hold possibilities of new challenges, opportunities for growth and change, and chances to explore parts of yourself that may have been silent for years.

Best of all, you’re greeting this incredible time with a wealth of hard-earned knowledge and wisdom you didn’t have when you were younger.

At midlife, you stand on the threshold of an entirely new world. It is an opportunity to experience unprecedented health, creativity, freedom, and passion — not a cause for dread, apprehension, and fear. Renewal will give you the practical advice and uplifting insight you need to seize these opportunities, and create a healthy, balanced lifestyle today and beyond

www.chopra.com

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Understanding Self-Esteem by  Sanjeev Sharma

Did your boss, took you for a ride? Did your girlfriend/ boyfriend ditch you? Did your friends take you for granted? And you feel that you are useless and you feel that they are hurting your self esteem.

Understanding Self-Esteem

To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let's take a look at the word esteem first. Esteem is a fancy word for thinking that someone or something is important or valuing that person or thing.

And self, means, you. So when you put the two words together, it's easier to see what self-esteem is. It's how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It's how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements. Self-esteem isn't bragging about how great you are. It's more like quietly knowing that you're worth a lot (priceless, in fact). It's not about thinking you're perfect - because nobody is - but knowing that you're worthy of being loved and accepted.

In the words of Dr Nathaniel Branden, widely regarded as “the father of the self-esteem movement”, self-esteem is “the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness.”

Importance of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem isn't like a cool pair of sneakers that you'd love to have but don't have to have. Good self-esteem is important because it helps you to hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do. It gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes. And when you respect yourself, others usually respect you, too. Having good self-esteem is also the ticket to making good choices about your mind and body.

If you think you're important, you'll be less likely to follow the crowd if your friends are doing something dumb or dangerous. If you have good self-esteem, you know that you're smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, your health - your whole self. Good self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.

What Self-Esteem Is Not

Self-esteem is the experience of feeling and knowing that we are competent to live and worthy of living and being happy.

Genuine self-esteem is not primarily dependent upon the approval of other persons in one's social environment. While it is indeed desirable to have the realistic good opinions of others, no one can give us self-esteem except ourselves. The person who ties his self-esteem to the approval of others is already handicapped in self-esteem and is constantly in jeopardy of further loss of self-esteem.

Contrary to what one sometimes hears or reads, self-esteem is not just a synonym for any positive feeling about oneself. Thus, self-esteem is not egotism, arrogance, conceitedness, narcissism, or a desire to feel superior to others. Indeed, these attitudes betray a lack of genuine self-esteem. Self-esteem is not the euphoria that might be temporarily induced by a job promotion or a new love affair. In fact, if one feels incompetent to handle the job or unworthy of love, these experiences can be a challenge to an already impaired sense of self-esteem. One can feel like an "imposter," who might be "found out" at any moment.

Self-esteem – A Psychological need (Some facts from Research)

Self-esteem plays a crucial role in psychological well-being. Individuals who are high in self-esteem tend to be at less risk for depression (Crandall, 1973) and hopelessness (Abramson, Metalsky, and Alloy, 1989). Self-esteem is a better predictor of satisfaction with one’s life than any objective characteristic of individuals, such as income or age (Diener, 1984). High self-esteem has been implicated in good mental health (Baumeister, 1991; Bednar et al., 1989; Taylor & Brown, 1988).

Most people who seek psychotherapy do so because of general feelings of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem has been linked to problems such as depression, use of drugs (Brehm and Back, 1968), alcohol abuse (Wahl, 1956), suicide, and eating disorders. Relative to high self-esteem people, low self-esteem people tend to be more anxious, depressed, jealous, and lonely (Cutrona, 1982; Goswick & Jones, 1981; Kanfer & Zeiss, 1983; Leary, 1983; Lewinsohn, Mischel, Chaplin, & Barton, 1980; Taylor & Brown, 1988; White, 1981).

Self Esteem At a Work Place

Research has validated that self-esteem is a key factor in enhancing work performance and improving employee behavior.

Employees with high self-esteem (relative to those with low self-esteem) are:

More intrinsically motivated and optimistic (Bandura & Cervone, 1983; Burger, 1992; Deci & Ryan, 1985; Harackiewicz & Larson, 1986; Harter & Jackson, 1992; Vallerand, 1983), More creative (Domino, 1971; Mackinnon, 1962), More apt to work harder in response to significant negative feedback (Brockner & Elkind, 1985), More likely to be productive in quality circles (Brockner & Hess, 1986), and Less negatively affected by chronic stressors such as role ambiguity and conflict (Mossholder, Bedeian & Armenakis, 1981).

In the words of Warren Bennis, “... knowledge workers, in particular, can be creative and productive and happy only in an environment that nurtures self-esteem.”

Research shows a positive relationship between self-esteem and leadership. Leaders typically have higher levels of self-esteem than non-leaders. Self-esteem plays a critical role in decision making, inspiring people and gaining others’ trust. Leaders with high self-esteem are generally decisive, assertive, willing to make tough decisions, and exhibit high but realistic expectations of their followers, which become self-fulfilling.

Simply put, how can one be a good leader if he distrusts his own mind and how can one bring out the best in others when he feels insecure in his interpersonal exchanges? Nathaniel Branden concludes as follows: “The higher the self-esteem of a leader, the more likely it is that he or she can inspire the best in others. A mind that does not trust itself cannot inspire greatness in the minds of colleagues and subordinates.” Research shows that, relative to high self-esteem people, low self- esteem people set lower expectations for their performance in a variety of situations (Coopersmith, 1967; Kiesler & Baral, 1970), and these lower expectations lead to reduced effort (Diggory, Klein, & Cohen, 1964; Wattenberg and Clifford, 1964).

People with low self-esteem generally underestimate their capabilities and subsequently establish less challenging or mediocre goals for themselves. (Heatherton & Ambady, 1993). Research also shows that underachievers are generally less confident and less ambitious (Goldberg, 1960), less self-accepting (Shaw and Alves, 1963), and lack a sense of personal worth (Durr and Schmatz, 1964).

If I Can Help You In Boosting Your Self Esteem

Think back to when you did something new for the first time. Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self-belief and high stress levels, all of which are necessary parts of the learning process. The next time you feel under-confident, remembering this will remind you that it's perfectly normal - you're just learning.

Do something you have been putting off. Like writing or calling a friend, cleaning the house, tidying the garden, fixing the car, organizing the bills, making a tasty and healthy meal - anything that involved you making a decision, then following through.

Do Something You Are Good At.

Examples? How about swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting, writing... If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of `flow' where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished and capable afterwards, great antidotes to low self-esteem. And while you're at it, seriously consider doing something like this at least once a week. People who experience `flow' regularly seem to be happier and healthier.

Stop thinking about yourself I know this sounds strange, but low self-esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better.

Get Seriously Relaxed.

If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the first thing to do is to stop thinking and relax properly. Some people do this by exercising, others by involving themselves in something that occupies their mind. However, being able to relax yourself when you want is a fantastic life skill and so practicing self-hypnosis, meditation, or a physically based relaxation technique such as Tai Chi can be incredibly useful. When you are properly relaxed, your brain is less emotional and your memory for good events works better. A great 'rescue remedy'.

Remember all the things you have achieved. This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you'll develop a handy mental list of self-esteem boosting memories.

Remember That You Could Be Wrong.

If you are feeling bad about yourself, remember the way you feel affects your thoughts, memory and behavior. So when you feel bad, you will only remember the bad times, and will tend to be pessimistic about yourself. This is where the tip `Get Seriously Relaxed' comes in.

Once you have tried out a few of these, consider making them a permanent part of your life. For most people, good self-esteem is not just a happy accident, it's a result of the way they think and the things they do from day to day. Good Luck.

Conclusion

Self-esteem is one of our most basic psychological needs. The degree of our self-esteem (or lack of it) impacts every major aspect of our lives. It has profound effects on our thinking processes, emotions, desires, values, choices, and goals. Deficits in self-esteem contribute to virtually all psychological problems. And psychological problems lead to lowered self-esteem. It is a reciprocal relationship.

Looking forward to your comments and feedback Have a great day and take care.

Regards

Sanjeev Sharma
Pune-India  Blog:  http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/

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